When you think of the word "modesty" what reaction comes to your mind? For many individuals they think in terms of Victorian style of clothing or something like bonnets and burqas. The topic may seem as archaic as 8-track tapes, or even LPs. So, as followers of Christ is modesty a consideration for today, and if so, where do we derive our principles of modesty?
We read that after Adam and Eve had sinned, God clothed them (Genesis 3:21). It is also important to remember that God has made us male and female and that there is to be a difference reflected in how we present ourselves. (No, I don't believe that means that females can't wear pants.) Paul writes
"I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly..." (1 Timothy 2:9). So how do we help our children learn to do that? Michael Hyatt, who raised 5 daughters had the following “Four Guidelines for Modesty”:
- If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest.
- If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest.
- If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest.
- If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest.
As Dad's of daughters, it is important for us as men, to help our young ladies learn how to present themselves. This is contradictory to the world culture which says "if you've got it, flaunt it!" I recently was forwarded a link from a Christian Dad (no one you know!) who had proudly video taped his daughter singing up on an elevated stage. One of the first thing that went through my mind as a Dad who has daughters, was that her dress was too short (no, that is not a mind in the gutter - it is the protection of a Dad)! There are things that may be cute at 3 and 4 years of age, that are no longer appropriate as our daughters mature. This was a point of discussion on a few occasions in our home where, innocently, our daughters were not aware of the implications! (If you want to read the rest of Michael Hyatt's post, you can go
here)
By the way, ladies, it is your responsibility to also model modesty to the young ladies around you, whether they are your daughters or someone else's. Mary Mohler writes, "if you arrive at church dressed in such a way that by the end of the service the people around you, by no fault of their own, now know the color of your underwear as they have watched you do a shimmy dance as you try to get your too-short, too-tight skirt to go under you, there is a big problem." She goes on to say, "and don't blame the men around you that they need to get their minds out of the gutter."
I have heard Christian parents concerned about the pressures that their sons are facing. Their sons desire to walk with God in purity, but are bombarded with immodesty and aggressive behavior from the young women around them.
So what do we do?
1. Lead By Example -- demonstrating modesty.
2. Teach your young ladies why modesty is important from God's perspective. Use Mary Mohler's article as a good place to start -- perhaps some dinner conversation or family devotions. (Thanks to Girls of Grace which also covers this topic)
3. Shop Differently. It may mean bypassing the juniors' department or Abercrombie, Mary Mohler goes on to write. "Unlike the discount stores whose marketing says, 'there are no rules,' there are absolutes! You can download Mary Mohler's article entitled "Modeling Modesty"
here. It would provide a good point of discussion for parents with their children -- both male & female. We often hear the statement, "pick your battles." Mary Mohler gives some good reasons why this is not an area to forgo taking a stand.
You can add your thoughts below in the comments section.
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